You can go to school to learn lots of things beyond basic academics, but you can’t go to school to learn how to be a perfect parent.There is no school of parenting.
Although we all try to prepare ourselves for raising our little humans, books and friendly advice can never prepare us for the moment when we clean poop off of our floors (totally just happened today… again). Parenting is learned through experiences like having Goldfish crackers in the bottom of your purse that can always be eaten.
The best parenting is the efficient and effective kind… but honestly we all have kids having tantrums and houses that don’t just run themselves (come on technology, catch up with us).
But what if there was a school that could teach us what we really needed to know about parenting? Take notes and no cheating…
1. any nap > no nap
2. childproof = adultproof
3. If a car seat is installed easily, car seat cannot and will not be removed by parent without force equal to or greater than Superman.
4. Pacifier; noun, \ˈpa-sə-ˌfī(-ə)r\ See also, binky, paci, plug, silencer.
5. Food does not come out with the same properties it went in with.
6. Goldfish crackers and Cheerios are a food group.
7. If an object is at adult height, your baby will want it now. NOW!
8. Hypothesis: Changing a diaper results in a reaction from baby causing new diaper to be immediately moistened or soiled.
9. Your love life and sleeping in.
POP QUIZ!!! So what have we learned today? We learned all that algebra we suffered through, and all those term papers we procrastinated on, and all those final exams we crammed for the night before have in fact prepared us for parenthood. Simple equations, procedures, and scientific theory can all be applied to the mess, chaos, and insanity that is parenthood!
Unfortunately, you can’t fake a headache and go to the nurse’s office next time your little one has a tantrum.
© 2013, Jennifer. All rights reserved.